What women want!! No, not Applicable!!

What women want! “We are men. We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop. We do not own magazines fill of pictures of celebrities with all their clothes on. When we have conversations, we actually take it in turns to talk!”
It was just a CONTROVERSIAL status update on my Facebook profile long back! 
Anyway I was supposed to write on “what women want” ..  I have just spent 26 years on this earth, how can I know/write that!! ;) Though I managed to pen down some observations. Ladies, excuse me for the eye on details! :P
 
  1. Don't make us guess.
  2. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  3. Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another; we're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
  4. Sometimes he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
  5. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different - it's just like every other cat.
  6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
  7. Never buy a "new" brand of jeans/beer because it was on sale.
  8. Crying is like blackmail: Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
  9. The quarterback who just got pummelled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
  10. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.
  11. If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
  12. Foreign language films are best left to foreigners.
  13. Don't cut your own hair. Ever.
  14. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
  15. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
  16. When the waiter asks if everything's OK, a simple "yes" is fine.
  17. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  18. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  19. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
  20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
In spite of whatever crap I said, I respect every woman out there, and I am blessed with some beautiful women in my life, my mother, my sisters, my friends .. but no, not my ex girlfriend(s)! :P

DISCLAIMER: Ohh, never mind! :P

50 people read and said:

fivefeetsmall said...

if u ACTUALLY use all of it...
you are soooo DEAD :P

Pria said...

An excuse to get away huh!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... not much to say.

Urvashi said...

Never buy a "new" brand of jeans/beer because it was on sale....
ithin kit applies for every commodity..the wrod SALE itself urges us to buy...cant help


I ws smiling all the time readin it cos somewhere yeah......its true.. :)

Guria said...

I thought the topic was 'what women want'....

Unknown said...

haha... this made me laugh!
good attempt! all the best!

Esther said...

roflol :P I like the disclaimer :P :P

Priya said...

Hahaha wonderful post!
So true, I can't stop laughing!!

HaRy!! said...

shud hav done a tag post mate.....:) !

Anonymous said...

cudnt stop laughing...

Purba said...

At 26 you are not exactly an authority on women.

Atleast not yet :)

The Enchantress said...

Hey...dats rude on your part..
Few things are pretty true and gals shud learn to admit as in ----

He's not thinking of you sometimes,admit it.
If you think you're fat,you probably are..
Ask for wat u want...guys dnt have brains to think..haha..

I think I shud go ahead and write wat guys want...U r my inspiration fr today..thanks.

S said...

@Mugdha - Dead, why/how? ;)

@Pria - from?

@Sadhogopal - you still said that!

@Urvashi - Yeah! Thank God at least some people are honest! Thank you! :)

@Guria - I thought you'd understand it's on women, and am not a gyaani!:P

S said...

@Mehak - Thank you! Your post helped me a lot! ;)


@Esther - Good!You didn't mind! :P

@Hary - what tag?

@Memunish - then don't! ;) And welcome to my blog! :)

@Purba - 26 or 62, I'd never be any authority, this was just a light post, but observations are facts for sure!

S said...

@Nikita - Haha! :P
Facts can are rude at times, and yes we all have issues! ;)

Guys have brain, but we'd instead use it for better purposes!

Wait, will check your post! Glad, I can inspire people! :P

The Enchantress said...

Guys have brain, but we'd instead use it for better purposes!....
wat purposes like ??
We can have a good debate on it,u know...

being alive said...

first: This just shows how weird guys r!!!

second: to be genuine,I dnt rly mind any of ur poins...but, hey! wots wrong wid cutting ur own hair!!!

Blunt Edges said...

"Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived."
an absolute gem that \m/

apart from that, my favorites points are 9, 10, 11, 12, 15 and 18...bloody cool list buddy :D

Pramoda Meduri said...

Hi SOurav, how r u doing?

am here after long time and am full of laughs..:) But may be, some points need full of research to quote.. hehe..

Keep in touch..take care..

Harini said...

Ouch! So rude and your so dead :P.

But yeah, hate to admit few are true. But well, you know No one likes to hear them :p.

Pooja said...

We are women, you are men. We are all different. So stop trying to understand us. Though I agree your species is a tad more predictable, you all are definitely a piece of work.
The beauty lies in the mystery, so just enjoy it :D!

Unknown said...

I think many girls just behave the way they are expected to with you. Thus, you could write this post. Being mysterious is the key. Don't you think!

Nice post! Good attempt. Keep it up. :)

S said...

@Nikita - Ohh I am not interested in a debate, see I used it for a good cause! ;) :P


@Being alive - Reverse psychology:P
When you cut your own hair, we men get the in to the risk of being asked "how do I look?" question! ;)

@Blunt edges - Cheers dude! \m/
I hope I did justice! ;)

S said...

@Pramoda - Hey .. Am good! :)
Glad I can make your presence more comfortable over here, and trust me it was a result of extensive research! ;)

Will sure do, you too take care :)

@Harini - Hurts,, right! :P
That was an honest confession, it was high time for the world to know too :P

S said...

@Pooja - We are predictable, coz we are human being, piece of careful work, I'd say! :P

Too mysterious, dampens the shows!:D


@Pooja Menon - I don't expect much, when it comes to girls, ohh and I could write few more posts like that! :P

And like I said, mysteries are not my thing, they are better unsolved ! :P
Thanks! :)

Priya Chilamkurthi said...

of all only pt 2 is correct.. :D

Sai said...

lol :P!!! man, I'm laughing out my tummy!! Super coll and damn hilarious! Gr8 work!! Visit mine too..
http://sai-onlyindia.blogspot.com/

sleeping beauty said...

my first visit to ur blog i liked the settings but women ? man u need to be more hearty to understand them .its cool to hear from somebody u love that inspite of fat u like her most .....i hope u didn't mind .

Pria said...

@ Sourav,

Came thru' blogadda contest page.

enchantinganki said...

Finally i have landed here!!
Interesting observation I must say!! :-)

KG said...

seems like you were compelled to write the other side of the story after reading my rants on what women want :P

karan said...

Awesome !!! super hilarious man !!! i dont think it cud hv been put better... small but super annoying things of girls !!!! hate them for it, love them for it !!!!

Aeish said...

It would take you a million years to tell all of this to ONE woman, don't you dare :P

deepa kashyap said...

All the best for contest !! :P

Anonymous said...

u hav been doing some gud observations..

nice work dude..

they're all the same....

Neha said...

hahaha! lol
i should come up with the male version of this :P

Kay said...

I really liked #11...

all the rest...

were you saying something??? :)

I was busy brushing my cat and flipping through magazines...

Vivek Singh said...

that cartoon at the start was hilarious :P
women are the most beautiful (and confused) species on earth, but we love them a lot..
be it our mothers, our sisters or our wives!!!
good one :)

Nalini Hebbar said...

quite wise about women for 26!...the second point is so funny coz all i get is similar grunts for any question from my hubby dear!

Jzt4m3 said...

Hey...good to see you have a good set of observations on what women want...and here are my opinions on each of ur points...

1. Then how come you expect us to guess, expect, understand and behave.

2.No questions are ever asked without two possible answers...but then after listening to the answer women have the right to raise their opinion to counteract???...

3. Women always tend to forget that some men are insensitive and dumbos...

4. Same could be applicable in a vice versa...Don't fight and demand then...

5. Get rid of your sports channels...Instead get out into the ground and do some exercise...Yes, its much better than just holding on to your remote controls...


6. Then never say 'NO' to anything women wear...

7. Never end up with a "new" girl just because she was easy to get..

8. Shouting is like fighting. Use it if you must, but dont expect us to like it.

9. Big difference!

10. Will keep that in mind and will surely use a NO when required...

11. Never scream/shout/blame when the electricity bill arrives...

12. OK

13. Give the money to pay the Hairstylist...

14. Get a good driver...

15. Think before you talk...

16. We think before we talk and where things are to be explained, it need to be explained...bcoz, men doesn't know to guess/ cant take hints / nor they are intelligent enough to understand...

17. Will keep that in mind...In future will ask the neighbour's husband/ boyfriend.

18. How about just swithcing off the whole TV.

19. OH most men are almost always ineffective. So no issues...we know tht..

20. Sure...you can..but remember, we too need to know how good you are...

Hey, that would have been my response if some guy told me them on face...I surely do welcome more reactions to my responses...lol!!!

Btw, I am not a Feminist...but ofcourse, wouldnt close my eyes to MCPs...

Anu said...

huh..not fair! no option but to agree on #13 ;);)

Anonymous said...

If we bring all these changes, wats left? :P

Nice one.. Enjoyed it ;)

Anonymous said...

And I loved what Jzt wrote.. Waise if we list out things about men.. Lol.. It would be all the more fun.. ;)

RaNiiiiii said...

You are forcing me to write the opposite side of the coin ;).. follow my blog.. u will see this story pretty soon...

S said...

@Pria - think again! :p

@gerrard - enjoy your time! ;)

@Sleeping beauty - Don't take me the wrong way, it is having some fun and nothing else! :D

@Anki - Yeah! finally! Interesting for you, really? :p

@KG - Somehow yes, normal things are not my virtue, you see! :p

@karan - Thanks mate! Well said love and hate them for those! :)

@Aeish - Huh! I told this to so many here! :p

@Deepa - too late to say thanks now! :p

@Mutant - Well yes, they are! ;)

@Neha - ab tak nai likhi?

@Kay - How typical of being a girl! :p

@Vivek - True man! We share such a love-hate relation! :)

@Nalini - Age is no indicator for experience! ;)

@jzt4m3 - NO WAY ! I am not gong to reply to you here, and create another controversy against me! :p

@Anshita - I gave you this post at such a right time! ;)

@Bedlam - I enjoyed Jzt4m3's post too, could have come up with another .. but! :p

@Raniiii - Well not forcing, but yes I dare you to! :p I am already following your blog keenly, lets see what you have! ;)

Unknown said...

Hmmm welll .. ds is wht d opp to womens/gals alwayz hd/hv in thr mind... nd they r keep following d same as a perception according to them.. but boys open ur mind nd come out frm ds same old perception .. nd try to find out wht is d reallity.. here comes :
# if gals r nt thr to care u u cn nvr evr tk care of ur self..
# Gals .. actually gvng u small beautiful surprises nd loving u d way .. u cn nvr expect .. whch vl at last mk u feel so spl
#u r luking fr sme negative aspects .. in majority of gals.. but why nt d positive aspect in majority of gals...

S said...

Nidhi, I don't know which girl are you talking about here! :p
Hahaha! I know all those points, women are really special in every man's life, mother, sister, wife or girlfriend! They are the best !:)

Lolland said...

Love the post :) great sense of humour.

Tell me, how many of them have you tried successfully? It would be very interesting if you tried all :P

Do read my post below, and vote for it if you like :)
Lolland - Too Smart to be True

SEPO said...

i ll be honest and say that in-spite of being a girl i loved it to the core!

awesome!

it reminded me of barney stinson from HIMUM. all his elaborate schemes and codes!

Deepika said...

omg... that was.. ahem ahem!!... detailed list of true facts.. i agree with every point out there.. (sorry girls!).. but yes, we are nutcracks.. and i accept .