Not so nice to be nice!

Love_Sucks Show me your hand if you've ever been in a relationship. Now lower your hand if that relationship wasn't with another person. Now lower your hand if you are currently in a relationship that has lasted more than 3 years. If your hand is still up, you probably suck at being in a relationship. If it's not up, you may suck at it anyway. So here goes a narration by one of my friend, who did a WEIRD EXPERIMENT with relationships! Do read through and please don’t blame me for the language, it’s his outburst against few things!
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I have reached a firm conclusion.  It's both important and guaranteed true.  In fact, I'm fairly certain I've stumbled across one of the basic tenets of life, and that is that girls are full of bullshit.  I wouldn't make this claim if I didn't have unrefutable evidence to back up my assertion.  Luckily, I do.  This all stems from the common girl comment "I wish I could just find a nice guy for once".  BULLSHIT.

So, without further ado, I give you my proof, in 3 point essay form -
1) Anyone who knows me, knows I'm (usually) NOT that nice guy.  But I decided last week to give it a go and see what happened.  So, for the past 10 days or so, I've been nice, kind, gentlemanly, and generally thoughtful to others.  Also for the last 10 days, I've been blown off, used, exploited, probably laughed at, and generally shat on at a frequency of at least 5 times a day.  Before I tried the nice guy experiment, I'm fairly certain those things hadn't happened to me 5 times in the last 5 YEARS.
Conclusion - girls are evil and "nice guys" just serve as a way to boost their fragile egos.
2) During this experiment, two times I got so drunk I reverted to my previous, natural state.  This ended with me being sexually assaulted (I was even such an asshole I walked off) and soon after collecting a phone number from a different girl.  For those 2 hours or less, I was free.  Last night I got trashed, reverted to previous, natural state, and even though I was screwed over with one out-of-my-control circumstance, I still talked to a stripper for a while and had a girl yell at me as I walked down the street and invite me to drink beer with her.  Total count:  Asshole Me - 3 in 36 hours, Nice Guy Me - negative 13 or so.

Conclusion - Girls are evil and "nice guys" just serve as a way to recover from the deep dickin' that they received from the asshole guy the night before.
3) I cannot even begin to count the amount of "I'm washing dishes, I'll call you right back!" type comments, followed by nothing further, that I experienced this week.  My best friend, naturally good guy to the end, experienced almost as many.  We talked.  He experiences this on a regular basis.  I never experience this.  Ever. Until I tried being nice.  This means one of two things.  Either girls are evil or I have a little gremlin that lives under my bed who shoots lightning at every girl I talk to immediately after she promises to call me back.  My money's on the first one, because I'd have smelled the gremlin by now.

Conclusion - Girls are evil and "nice guys" just serve as a way to exact some sordid, vicarious revenge on the asshole guys who've blown the girl off in the past.

So, given the circumstances, and my experiences, I'm left to conclude that being a nice guy really DOES mean you finish last.  I suspected this, but now I've experienced it and can confirm it for certain.  Girls do not want "a decent guy".  They want a guy who will treat them as the inferior lifeforms that they (with a few notable exceptions, you know who you are) for some reason feel they are.  Final Conclusion - When a girl says "I just want to find a nice guy to treat me the way I should be treated", what she's REALLY saying is "I can't wait to find another shit-headed, self-serving guy who sees me as a walking penis-hole and treats me as such, thereby giving me absolutely no respect whatsoever unless I manage to somehow grovel before him long enough that he decides it wouldn't harm his dignity or self-image to bestow just a wee bit upon me".  Luckily, I was born that guy, and that guy I shall remain.  Being nice sucks.  It's stupid and leads to me getting owned.  Fuck that.  Fuck.  That.
Disclaimer - I'm sure not every girl fits into this stereotype, as I know a few here and there who don't myself.  I think that those girls are well aware they fall outside the spectrum of normality, however.  For the vast majority of girls, this description is dead-on.  I encourage those girls to give up the whole "I just want a nice guy" bullshit and voice your true feelings.  We're onto you now, and we know that line's just a cliche pile of shit almost on par with "I'll call you right back".

41 people read and said:

vandy said...

Well I can relate myself with the last few lines :P
And I don’t even want a guy,,,not good not bad
I don’t understand why people make a fuss if their relationship is not working out. Maybe they just jumped into the relationship just for the heck of being in relationship,,I mean staying out of the league of singles. So for me it’s lame to blame your partner

Samadrita said...

I agree with all that you and your friend have to say. But what girls want is a balance between good and evil.
By 'a good guy' we don't necessarily ask for a wimp as a prospective partner.
More than anything else women hate men who can't stand up to others and speak for themselves.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely true! I am the living legend of this saying - "nice guys" finish last :(

Thanks for sharing, bro!

HaRy!! said...

well hmmm there is a postive for every negative... likewise opposite ends in every thing! So i guess its all to which circle of girls yur frnd has tumbled into..! bro.. yu ought to get him drunk and yu also and then sleep :)! just kiddin.. hows he doin now?

Jzt4me said...

Oh, so the "Not so Nice Boy" tried being "Nice boy" for 10 days and got fed up...Havent u heard the phrase...Try Try and Try till u succeed...

True Girls prefer Decent Guys...Now the defenition of decency will totally depend on the girl's basic nature...I know girls who adore the Number 1 Rogue of the locality...and girls who admire the most sweetest innocent guy in the area...

A nice guy doesnt mean you have to be a Dumbo...neither u have to know what or how the other girl is...Just atleast try to UNDERSTAND and RESPECT the other girl...and there u got the lead...

Majority of the girls prefer such guys and hey, dont blame me if you end up with the girls that comes under the Minority category...

Vishal Raj said...

Hey Sourav, nice post. I don't know whose story is this. But yes I do agree with you that no girl wants just 'a good guy'. Guys have to change according to the need of the time. They need somebody who can take stand for himself as well as them.

Deepika said...

well, its true!

Girls are always attracted to the Bad guys.. They are scared of such guys.. and hence they feel the need to be approved by such guys..

Fact remains, these guys ( like ur friend here ) know of this, and make full use of it! I have sooo many friends like this.. and have seen girls - well educated, pretty and those who u consider to be little intelligent, fall for the kind of stunts these guys pull off.

Its hilarious listening to the kind of things these girls are ready to do.. for the bad guys..

N for the very nice wimp of a guy - girls always end up as treating them as the guy to do assignments for them, help give proxy in class or handle the manager when they have committed a mistake!

Having said all this, Girls "want" a nice guy.. someone who'll treat them just right.. So, they might be attracted to Bad Boys.. but they'll more often than not settle with a good guy.. ( who usually is not that much of a wimp, but is not bad either ).

Now, when it comes to the "bad / evil / whatever " type of guys.. they usually end up with someone who:
1. their mother selects
2. A bad girl herself ( only she can tame the bad guy ;-) )
or usually with time bad guys turn decent enough to qualify for good.. :)

p.s: I didn't know i would go on and on about this.. :P nice topic.. and nice post.. kudos to ur friend there.. n u too.. :)

Sorry on taking so much space..

Ann said...

Nice Post.. Actually, girls themselves are confused about what they want. Like I've decided to stay single as I can't handle guy's ego and lame excuses. So, it's up to you that how you make your mind and wait for the right person that fits in your criteria - Be it nice or a bad guy.

Anonymous said...

ahemahem thnks for ur commnts on my blog :)
nd well my blog is full of love love nd love :P
bt why is ur post against love uan uan :(

hope u gt sumone who tells u d real meaning of love ;P
nd ya me frm Lucknow
u also belong to dis place????????

CutePriya said...

This not just the case with every girl dude...I STRONGLY Disagree...there are guys who treat girls WORST than this...

And a girl who genuinely likes a guy would never let go a guy if he is "nice, kind, gentlemanly, and generally thoughtful"....and if she does...she is a LOSER...

TurbulentMind said...

I am not sure I can agree with all that you have said there..I know that girls get attracted to the 'bad guys', but then again, that is just stereotyping..this topic is highly subjective, and i have seen and experienced "stuff" which could not be categorised as you have above..I do not agree..maybe you (And your friend) have come across such situations, i can just call it bad luck..

hope sometime soon you are struck by cupid ;):P

Rinaya said...

Damn..I juts voted for the contest..can't believe I missed this one :(
It's quite right some girls are mentally handicapped like that & I say so coz i've come across weirdos like that who would get hit by their BFs cry abt it & then go running into their arms after a 'sorry' sms.
I say WTF..get a life AND a normal guy! :P
goodluck fr d contest!

The Panorama said...

Interesting post! I must say though that this bad guy act works maybe in the younger days. A few years down the road, the bad boy act will only give your pal a solid divorce and a lonely future with no woman really loving him. A few conquests here and there mean nothing in the big scheme of things.

Good guys DO win. These girls when looking for marriage would not pick a bad guy.
Besides, do you really want a girl so shallow she can't appreciate a good guy when she sees one?
And theres is a huge difference in being a good guy and push over.

Sathish Chandrasekaran (சதீஷ் சந்திரசேகரன்) said...

Got to agree with the ur friend Sourav...
In college days there goes a sayin ,"Actually they use to say it in Tamil,so here's the English translation of it" ,
however intelligent or smart a girl might be but she still falls for the so-called hot shots with loads of arrears ...

gr8 post :)
hey am now following you on networked blogs as you said :)

cheers !!!

Unknown said...

Oh Boy! Such dislike!

What either women or men (see...I have deliberately avoided saying boys and girls) really need to understand is you must not try to be nice. It is a feeling of thoughtfulness that comes from each partner for the other. If there is an ego at play from any side, that relationship is doomed from the start.

As for me avoiding the term 'boys' and girls' - there is more to life than bloated hormones. Respect the other gender and then earn it. Goes for both men and women. Grow up people! Really!

I am assuming these are not relationships you are talking about. These are more like flings. There is nothing more to flings than getting someone into bed and walking out of it. Let's not confuse the two. If you are talking about relationships and love, you still got growing up to do, (at least your friend does) and the right person is not yet around.
All the best!
And yes, learn to be friends with each other first. If that's not there, it really doesn't have to become such an issue.
Cheers
Hiyaa
http:www.thedefinitivemeltingpot.com

Sugandha said...

From the glimpse of it, I had better expectations, to be very honest. This was really one hell of an OUTBURST! Found the language a little profane at one or two places but otherwise,it was good.
About the matter under scrutiny here,girls' concept of 'nice guy', well, having studied in an all girls school I have concluded that girls aren't all the same, REALLY! Though it must've been ages since I've been hearing guys bemoaning the same plight- all girls are the same. You may classify them into a handful of categories actually. And the ones you talk about here are one category in itself. And sure, the concept of 'nice guy' has been mistaken here. Personally, I'd like to believe, for a long term relationship, everyone, girls as well as boys would like to be with someone who is nice, nice as in, GENUINELY nice and this doesn't require to be dumb. Infact it is a little impractical to think that you can get on with this world inspite of being dumb!
I can go on with this and still might not be able to make my point. :P
So I'll end it here and yes, it was nice knowing another grudge against "us" :P

Tequila Thoughts said...

Well,I really like the frank nature of ur 'friend' and also the way you have out it all together.
But honestly, which girl ever told your friend that they want a 'nice guy'??? No girl would ever want a nice guy,honestly. Nothing can be good or bad...just in that way-people cant be 'nice' or 'evil'. Grow Up!
You gotta be a bit of both...n treat your girl with respect but that doesn't mean treat her like some goddess if thats what you mean by being nice!
Anywayz...an endless debate I believe!

Phoenixritu said...

You inspire me to do a rebut of this post. I am a woman who has really bad taste in men. Should do it, what do you think ? :P

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Sourav

Well i hope this narration is definitely not yours but of your friends...but then what kind of friend he is..??

Anyway...the post was well narrated..and I have seen it prior too...but because I never like this one..I never commented..now that I have voted only coz' 'This post is an absolute Emotional Attayachhar...'

Now just in case you win..i hope you wont get glued at writing such stuff more..I guess..I Hope!!

And only with such hope I wish you all the best!



~ Keep the Spark ALive..

shail said...

"Being nice sucks. It's stupid and leads to me getting owned. Fuck that. Fuck. That." PERIOD. :)))))

Paul Swendson said...

I live in the United States, and I've seen a similar pattern. Many women are attraced to ass holes for some reason. Of course, men are also not interested in nice girls. We tend to go for looks, and if she is bitchy, we can live with that.

Paul Swendson said...

I live in the United States, and I've seen a similar pattern. Many women are attraced to ass holes for some reason. Of course, men are also not interested in nice girls. We tend to go for looks, and if she is bitchy, we can live with that.

PeachesandBlush said...

Well, women are complicated- they want it all!! But honestly, its sort of an oxymoron- we tend to get attracted to bad boys- i dont know what it is about them, but the initial attraction does start more often with a bad boy than a decent guy. Then when it comes to getting serious, we want the decent guys. At some level i think women also think that the bad boy will change once he meets her and become that decent guy that they want to end up...

Acai Cleanse Detox said...

Hmm, that is what happens when people are nice.
neki kar kuen mein daal.
:)

prasanna raghavan said...

Isn't it a bit premature to generalize the outcome of a ten day's experiment, in these kind of things.

Also as a reader I am not clear to what do you mean by 'nice'. Saying 'yes' to everything hiding your natural instinct? perhaps the girls you have tested might have got a feel of that :)

I am just doubting.

Abhishek said...

Can't agree or disagree completely with your Point of View but the blogpost is good!
I was wondering that maybe girls like "bad" guys because they're hard to get/pursue whereas "good" guys come easy! :D

Nandita Prakash said...

wow!!
what a topic!
well i liked this outburst of your friend & appreciate your boldness of bringing it on.
now coming to my point of view - i think one should stay 'nice' or 'bad' only & only if they wish to be the same. now dis need of experimentation by your friend clearly shows that he is really trying very hard to seek a girl in his life. but he cant do it by experimenting. all he needs to do is be himself - good, bad or ugly. he is what he is & he is surely one of a kind. all girls & boys who demand their partners to be 'nice' or 'bad' are surely silly & suffer from low self- esteem. u be nice & sensible & u can change some bad characters in your partner....u can't be demanding in love. u need to just be & let him be.'good' 'bad' really doesn't matter

D.A said...

lol! dunno about the nice guy part but definately a nice blog and post!!! :P

Blue Lotus said...

Nice blog..As one grows up one learns a relationship is not about nice girls and boys..It's just how much crap you can take from the other person...And I liked the "I'm doing the dishes I'll call you back"...

Aashi said...

ok ran outta patience to read all the comments...but ye i agree with most that its the in-between a gurl needs...i mean take it this way....u have too much of sweet it spoils ur mouth..u have too much of salt it does the same...

so i knw it must be sounding like an old record by now...but respect a girl...just don't worship her...

good guys can be sexy and the devil...but they'd never be crude and well basically b the guy ur friend described as desirable to a girl....yes some girls prefer being mistreated...well lets just say the "nice guys" defined here r the same version in the case of the opposite sex....

let's put it the other way round...

all guys luv their gurls 2 b nice and sexy....only nice in public n sexy-cum-slutty in private..just 4 them...well how wud u feel if we accuse guys of being fakes n liars if we suddenly have a role reversal..

m not much of a feminist ...but think about it...

Ranjita said...

Humm.. well when one tries or say pretend to be nice or experiment with the word nice will probably land upon the situation the character in the post has.Regarding gals opinion of finding a decent guy is not confined to gals only, it is to very extend the demand of masculine gender too( to find a loving,caring and decent gal)
Nice Post..

Maitreyee Bhattacharjee Chowdhury said...

Very lucid style you have there..& such an interesting post..but yeah id like to mention something its not only nice guys who are shat upon...I think both males and females have the same fate. I face it so many times myself...in yr growing uo years you are told to be nice and polite to people but thats always seen as a sign of weakness. Enjoyed the post.

Ruhi Sonal said...

Very well written... I loved the way you began... though I absolutely disagree with your point of view!!! Still, a very interesting read.

Miss D said...

I am one glad person right now to have bumped into this blog !
My reaction : I AM AMUSED!

Well for starters, I don't generalize and I have a positive feeling your friend got the whole "nice" concept a tad bit wrong.
Nice DOES NOT mean bugging a bunch of girls politely, asking for a date! Even the sound of it, got me annoyed ! Lol. So desperate. So wimpish.

Similarly being an asshole can only get him "penis-holes", nothing more than that. If he chooses to be satisfied with that genre of life, so be it. Anything more than that, there is a way to go about it and your friend surely did not seem to have the grey matter enough to know that trick. No blaming him. Lol.

Miss D said...

This would almost be a rebuttal, only its NOT.
Just for the sake of humour and a few more laugh, do visit this.

Desolate Loner said...

Interestingly written...as far as your view point is concerend..its good that you added the last paragraph... but I can tell you one thing...not every girl is the same..u just need to know how to handle them...they are not that bad..:)

blackvirus said...

I just dont believe two people from different families can live together long inuf , we arent just built that way = humans rnt compatible to handle others trash period KAPUSH girls r bad relatively boys r as bad as an livin creature can be

Lobo said...

Classic.

Alcina said...

Well it ought to be the winner..It rocked all through with each word.

I couldn't control my laugh for even a second..It was..... Hilarious

And thoughtfully speaking true till it's core.

Hugs and kisses for this post hehehe..

Thangam said...

Well it was quite honest and there was a genuine try to be someone who everybody "liked" who your friend is usually not. Honest opinions need not always be liked by all. Well wrtitten - ofcourse. Thangam

Blogman said...

Partially true. But you can't generalize people. Not all girls are evil. :)