So, without further ado, I give you my proof, in 3 point essay form -
Conclusion - Girls are evil and "nice guys" just serve as a way to recover from the deep dickin' that they received from the asshole guy the night before.
Conclusion - Girls are evil and "nice guys" just serve as a way to exact some sordid, vicarious revenge on the asshole guys who've blown the girl off in the past.
So, given the circumstances, and my experiences, I'm left to conclude that being a nice guy really DOES mean you finish last. I suspected this, but now I've experienced it and can confirm it for certain. Girls do not want "a decent guy". They want a guy who will treat them as the inferior lifeforms that they (with a few notable exceptions, you know who you are) for some reason feel they are. Final Conclusion - When a girl says "I just want to find a nice guy to treat me the way I should be treated", what she's REALLY saying is "I can't wait to find another shit-headed, self-serving guy who sees me as a walking penis-hole and treats me as such, thereby giving me absolutely no respect whatsoever unless I manage to somehow grovel before him long enough that he decides it wouldn't harm his dignity or self-image to bestow just a wee bit upon me". Luckily, I was born that guy, and that guy I shall remain. Being nice sucks. It's stupid and leads to me getting owned. Fuck that. Fuck. That.
Disclaimer - I'm sure not every girl fits into this stereotype, as I know a few here and there who don't myself. I think that those girls are well aware they fall outside the spectrum of normality, however. For the vast majority of girls, this description is dead-on. I encourage those girls to give up the whole "I just want a nice guy" bullshit and voice your true feelings. We're onto you now, and we know that line's just a cliche pile of shit almost on par with "I'll call you right back".