Here’s To Love – A journal with five pages missing.

Day One ~ 18/09/2011

It’s been a long time since I've been in this place. When you stepped into my life you brought with joy and happiness, the sensation of what that feelings brought to my life. I'm just so glad I've met you.
But we so far apart in heart from each other. It’s only at night when I lay in my bed awake as I remember the love and joy you brought into my life.
It’s the best feeling you could have braced me with. Its something I wouldn't ever want to miss out on.
I feel like I'm truly blessed because you found me all alone in a world where people search in vain. But you found me and that's all I can thank the God above us knowing I was suffering from loneliness. You're the one my heart want to shower with love and adoration.

Day Two~ 19/09/2011

This morning I was coming down the stairs as I reached the bottom I saw the closet door near the end was slightly open, I don’t recall ever opening it, maybe I have I cant remember. As I slowly opened up the door inside it revealed a box that I haven’t been opening in months. Do you remember how much we would come in here, as we would hide gifts for the children? Honey I miss those days when you and the girls was my only hope. Ever since you’ve left nothing really matters.
Oh gosh I went of the topic now. I was inside the closet as I pull the box into the light. Right there on the second stair I sat as I open the box. As I open it, it held albums that we took on the vacations with the kids.
I took the one out with your smiling face, as I scan my fingertips over them. A lonely tear dropped fell as it sinks into the paper.

Day Three ~ 20 September 2011

Babe I couldn’t ever imagine my life without you and the children. When I found you years ago, something in your eyes made me feel loved. I remember our song we use to dance to after the kids would go sleep.  It was “Here’s To Love by Roberta Fleck “ do you remember the love that was inside of you. Were what made me whole. For so many years being devastated by the people who came into my life and never stayed for long. Before you came along I was dead inside, couldn’t take another blow to my lonely heart. It’s only until you came, with those chocolate brown eyes, and that smile that made my knees go weak. I never understood when people say someone can make their knees weak. Now I do. Because that is what you’ve done to me.
I will always love you forever in heart.

Day Four ~ 21 September 2011

This morning I woke up an empty feeling swept over me. I turn to my right side and noticed it hasn't been slept on in almost a year now. I feel a sudden burst of tears flowing like it has never done in so long.
I never thought this is how I'll end up, alone in this world. Sometimes I'd go into your closet and grab one of your jerseys and wrap myself in it and smell your perfume that still rest in the wool.
Baby will it ever stop, the ache inside of me. It gets lonelier each day that comes, I can fill that hourglass and there wouldn't be enough time for me to not dwell off to another memory.
Another happy moment filled with laughter and giggling of small pitter-patter. They’re little feet, their little fingers. How we use to sing them a lullaby as they hold strong onto our fingers. That was my happy moment, my place I've entered whenever someone comes to visit and find me off into another place of time.
Tomorrow is almost here babe, the day I've tried to avoid, but its important, for you, for me and our children.

Day Five ~ 22 September 2011

It’s finally the day that I have been trying so hard to avoid. The day I never thought would come, I wish deep down inside I didn’t have to feel this way about someone. You came into my life and made me feel alive. You created this vision for us that I was more willing to be apart of. I’m sitting here right now as tears willing to fall but I’m keeping them back because what is the use of the tears falling knowing that you and I never stood a chance. I've fallen in love with you so fast, yes they weren’t my kids, but I did love them as my own.
Babe I know you aren’t here anymore, you gone living another life with someone else.
My heart is probably going to take some time to be healed, to replace you with another person. But I can’t do that it’s been an entire year that went passed. You never knew what you left behind when you packed up yours and the kids’ things. You left behind only memories, photos, but you took more than that. You took my heart with you.
Wherever you are right now, just know I’ll always have a place for you inside my heart of what is left of it.
That song, “Here’s To Love” you were that ray of light that was always a constant in my life.

Goodbye, my love!

………………………………………………………………………

About the Author : Chimnese is poet, blogger and an artist from Cape Town, South Africa. She blogs on genres like book-reviews, music-lyrics, movie-reviews, short stories and everything you can think of. Her blog is like her little online library, where she brings all the different worlds together. While she writes at a lot of places, you can read it all together at her blog - My Poetry & Writing.